#4 Helen Ganya + Eva Lunny

Blackouts, liminal anxiety y un osito de peluche de Taiwan

7th Diciembre / December

The folklore rooms.

£7.50

En este concierto hubo un momento en el que pensé que iba a desmayarme, pero al final, fue otra persona quien se desmayó. The Folklore Rooms es una sala pequeña a la que se llega por unas escaleras que suben desde el pub The Quadrant. El ambiente es onírico y la sala se presta, aunque sea cliche, a los shows íntimos. Eva Lunny comenzó un show de cinco temas con su arpa conectada a un midi novation A lo mejor te viene a la cabeza Joanna Newsom y ese album mágico que grabó en 2004. El set de Eva fue entrañable, pero también un poco demasiado tranquilo, y durante el segundo tema, quizas por el calor, tuve que esforzarme para no desmayarme y permanecer presente.

Cuando llegó Helen Ganya la atmosfera cambió. Helen es escocesa pero tiene raices taiwanesas. Y esa fue una de las principales razones por las que fui a verla. Porque echo de menos a Peter. Helen sabe cantar y aunque se nombra a Cocteau Twins y Kate Bush como referentes de su musica, y sin duda lo son, yo senti el espiritu de St Vincent presente en la sala. Helen hizo un set buenisimo, muy personal y sera mucho mas conocida, incluso famosa, en poco tiempo.

Cuando abandonamos la sala, el chico que iba delante mía comenzó a desmayarse y le sujete como pude antes de que cayera escalones abajo. Good catch. Luego me fui a casa, la calle a dos grados bajo cero. Tengo que decir, que hay un componente psicológico en mis desmayos que tiene que ver con no querer estar en el sitio en el que estoy. Y el desmayo es precisamente eso, una solucion y una salida muy poco practica de ese estado de ansiedad liminal. A veces, al finalizar esos días en los que la ansiedad me acosa en silencio me digo antes de dormir: “ You did great today. You were SO GOOD.” Y me lo creo. Y antes de cerrar los ojos me tapo con la manta , y me imagino que está hecha del amor más puro que existe, y claro, sonrio.

At this concert, there was a moment when I thought I was going to faint, but in the end, it was someone else who fainted. The Folklore Rooms is a small room that is reached by stairs that go up from the Quadrant Pub. The atmosphere is oneiric and the room lends itself, although it sounds cliché, to intimate shows. Eva Lunny began a five-song set with her harp connected to a novation midi. Maybe Joanna Newsom and that fascinating album she recorded in 2004 come to mind. Eva’s set was endearing but also a bit too quiet, and it was during the second song that my blood pressure dropped and I had to force myself not to fall and stay present there.

When Helen Ganya arrived the atmosphere changed. Helen is Scottish, and her background is Taiwanese. And that was one of the main reasons I went to see her. Because I miss Peter. Helen knows how to sing and although she names the Cocteau Twins and Kate Bush as referents of her music, and without a doubt they are, I felt the presence of St Vincent constantly in the room. Helen did a very personal set and she will be much better known, even famous, in no time.

As we left the room, the boy in front of me began to faint and I grabbed him as best I could before he fell down the steps. Good catch. Then I went home, the street at two degrees below zero. I have to say, there is a psychological component to my blackouts that has to do with not wanting to be where I am. And the blackout is just that, a very impractical way out of that state of liminal anxiety. At the end of those days in which anxiety harasses me in silence I say to myself before going to sleep: “Alvaro, you did great today. You were SO GOOD”. And I believe it. And before closing my eyes I cover myself with the blanket, and I imagine that it is made of the purest love that exists. And then, I smile.